Volunteering work.

I just heard of the most ridiculous thing today, that people actually gets charged to volunteer for NGO's-just so they can get the volunteering experience.. wow.. ahaha and according to my friend Juan, there are tons and tons of students and also people from the overseas gets charged a certain amount of money by organizations that sells these kind of  volunteering "service" it seems..

I really dont know what is going wrong nowadays...but most of the sites that we 'google online for "volunteering"-in certain countries and etc' are mostly paid sites... it seems that this "volunteering experience" selling-trend  is getting bigger and bigger... people actually have to pay to do charity? i pity those who are lost in the little road of volunteers...

Thank god SOLS 24/7 doesn't charge our volunteers... and on the contrary, volunteers are given food and accommodation as well.. Please.. if you are looking for a place to volunteer, you dont have to pay for it.. spend some extra hours online to do more research and you will be on your way to a wonderful experience by your very own hands..

Peace out to all the other volunteers of humanity out there~! and have a better day of sunshine and clouded skies :-)

:-)

a new stage

a new tone

a new birth

a new element

a new inspiration

a new picture

a new direction

a new found love

you

it is late at night (2:11 am) as i am writing this now..
even though i met you yesterday, and chilled out with you the whole day..it never stopped me from missing you at this time..i miss your existence.. your smile... your mengader-ness~ ...your care... your touch.
haha..time flies it seems..but i guess i should record our story here now and then.. i have told it once too many times to those that asked.. and yet i will never feel to bored of asking...

here goes.. 7 years ago..

a boy met a girl... a girl that he never thought that he would be able to date...and yet he still fell for her..there was something that attracts him... he dont know what..then...
~hahaha i dont know where to start!! :-)~

ok.. i was this little boy..a delinquent looking boy...a boy that smokes alot.. and one day as i was smoking in front of school, a voice caught me from the back "hey you~! dont smoke so much la.. it is very bad for you health, you know~?" and i was surprised as this girl smiled at me when i turned around..and i could see her braces shining under the sun.. "what a smile" i thought.. and i flushed red..i could feel my cheeks hot...and my lousy response that time was "oh~ ok.." hahaha ... i was a bit shy la.. but then i start noticing her alot..

i did something really stupid that time.. from that day onwards i will always sit in the exact same spot to smoke and hope to get scolded again..hope to be able to see her talk to me again.. and yeah, she did...but everytime i cant find the courage to get to know her closer.. but one fine day.. i found out that she is also part of this Nature society thing in school, and i was lucky enough to be invited to join in helping that society to paint some murals... whats best is that..she is also part of the mural project..hahaha i was so delighted.. but still i dont dare to talk to her..

but then things went pretty well and we worked on the mural together, and we even went to a trip with the society together.. and i liked her..i had a crush.. but i dare not speak or engage on it..because she was one of the famous girls in school.. and i was nothing but a normal kid.. haha

and surprisingly... we got closer towards the end of form 6.. what good timing right...... -_-"
and we started chatting and sharing and chatting and sharing..
as we tell each other about our lives.. we got closer and closer... but we remain as friends only.. i kept my distance.. and throughout these years..we both had someone else in our lives...and we both cried for them..but then again.. i never regretted going through those pains with previous companions... because it was when i's broken that she found me and fixed me up..
i was touched by her doing.. i was sad and broken and she was the only one that comforted me.. the only one that cared..the only one that understood.. the only one that chatted with me till 6.00am and i know that she have work in the morning.. but she held on...to make sure that i was alright..
after that chat with her.. i was so touched and so sad as well.. how have i missed something so great in life..how have i have once given up on someone so wonderful in life.. then only i see... that she is more important to me now..

we got closer and closer.. till one fine day.. i asked her out to catch a glimpse of the sunset in Cape Hope.... we went for a stroll in the mall for some hot chocolate..met up with a friend, then after that drove off to Cape Hope.. we walked a really really long path along the shoreline..and we just kept walking and talking.... i was just enjoying the vibe that the surrounding was giving out.. the dawn that was coming..as the final hours of the warm Sun rays were cast upon the two of us.. we kept walking..and talking about some other thing.. i was trying to find something to talk about.. until we found a nice spot to sit and as the sunset.. we had a short moment of silent in admiration of natures wonderful work of art..

it felt like forever for me.. and after the sunset.. we walked back to the car..and we sat on a bench near the place i parked. and i manage to summon my courage to tell her... but it was still a cowardly confession.." i think i am in love with you.." hahahahahaa what a loser right..i still laugh at it everytime i think of it.. :-)  but at that time she still hasn't agreed, instead she somehow rejected me.. yet surprisingly..i did not feel dissapointed somehow.. because deep down inside, i know she feels for me..for i can feel it too..but thanks for that ice-breaking confession.. we got way more closer as friends..

and as we found out more about the funny things in each other... the attraction grew, and i started to miss her alot.. and she started to miss me a lot as well.. we went out for a few times to hang out and eventually we were unofficially dating... and somehow.. we became companions now...it just came naturally.. and now i am dating her officially..for she is the greatest girl that i have ever met in my life.. yes..you truly is.. and the past 7 years was such a long ride.. but then again... worth it..for you are a close friend, a lover and a companion..
shirley..i love you.. :-) hehe.. though we have been dating for not long now.. yet it felt as though we have been dating for super long.. and i like that feeling.. that warm feeling in my chest that throbs for your appearance..
 there are more chapters to this story but i shall leave it for ourselves to treasure..

so this is it.. my very own story, that took me 7 years to write..and many many years more to complete with her..and i am signing out with a better day of sunshine and clouded skies.. :-)

i have never..

felt this strong before,

for someone..

believe so much,

in someone....

been healed so wonderfully,

by someone...

loved so deeply...

on someone...

thought i would meet...

this someone...

believed that i'm with..

this someone..

i'm signing out with a better day of sunshine and clouded skies :-) S.H.M.I.L.Y <3

Bossini FTW

thanks to bossini in being so generous to SOLS, haha now the students get to wear more nicer and better clothes~! :-) i am so so happy weeeeee~~~

thank you

for being there yesterday,
and cared for me while i am sick..
healing my soul with your presence..
making me smile when i couldn't
you are like an invisible angel...
always being there for me at times of need..
even as i am alone now.. i could still feel your presence with me..
for the love shared between us is strong and beautiful~

thank you SCHW~Shmily
you gave me a better day of sunshine and clouded skies..

you made my day~!

it was a wonderful day,
a day i spent without dismay,
you took my troubles away,
like there were no yesterday,
showing me care, needless to say,
making my heart skip and sway...

thus i'm signing out with a better day of sunshine and clouded skies.. :-) SCHW Shmily~ <3

See.How.Much.I.Love.You = )

Bless the broken roads..

I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Yes He did

I think about the years I spent, just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost, and give it back to you

But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there, you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

But now I'm just rolling home into my lover's arms
This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

That God blessed the broken roadThat led me straight to you


rascall flatts

Waking up.

Last night I woke up..
Last night it was cold..
Last night I stood up..
Your hands I want to hold.

Ps: sleep well Shirley..

In his younger days a man dreams of possessing the heart of the woman whom he loves; later, the feeling that he possesses the heart of a woman may be enough to make him fall in love with her. Thus a new chapter in his life unfolds. 

"The moment we indulge our affections, the earth is metamorphosed, there is no winter and no night; all tragedies, all ennui s, vanish, all duties even."

heart of a million petals

You have the heart of a million petals,

as i close my eyes i could see them,

fluttering in the midst of my mind,

so soothing and yet so stimulating...

am i to loose control of my self once more?

You are the bearer of my million petals,

the petals that surrounded my soul..

keeping it safe at your mercy,

so warm and yet so cozy...

need not worry, for i am to be firm..

need not worry if darkness returns,

for i am willing to burn my self ,

to brighten your day :-)

Ps: so much that i want to say, and the words in me grew day by day.. i shall sign out today with a better day of sunshine and clouded skies.. i love you.. S.C.h.W :-PA

when i see it now,

i guess this is life, sometimes you are lifted up and sometimes you are being thrown down. But the thing is, i am being shot too high above the sky now~ :-)

 i've know her for 7 years in counting, often times just disturbing her and telling lame jokes to her, but deep down inside... i had a crush.. Yeah man! 7 years.... not very consistent but the crush has been alive for that long.. HAHA..

i feel like a kid now...writing these kinda things.. but i cant seem to find a better way to ease down my excitement and happiness.. i couldn't sleep yesterday night! thanks to YOU! hahaha.. 

It felt surreal, being with her and going out with her... it always does, i couldn't help but to think that way..

sometimes you ask me what am i staring at when i look at you?" well then, i was just doing a reality check there~ :-) just to see if it is really happening..<3

ps. i love you, and i am signing out with a better day of sunshine and clouded skies.. 

the usual unusuals..

For you who is special~~

Ps. Thank you for being special :-) and i'm signing out with a better day of sunshine and clouded skies.

:-)

"When i saw you, i fell in love and you smiled because you knew" William shakespeare

sometimes when you feel like you're falling,

don't worry, just spread your wings and fly..

sometimes when you feel broken,

don't worry, you're becoming a beautiful collage..

the happiest moments only comes after we faced sadness...

as you were there all the time... comforting my mind. 

i will try my very best to preserve you.. 

it is sad to love someone
and not being loved in return..

but what hurts the most is 

to love someone and not having

the courage to let them know....

"not me.." :-)

cuz i'm signing out with a better day of sunshine and clouded skies.. 

a smile~

A smile is quite a funny thing,
It wrinkles up your face,
And when it's gone you never find
Its secret hiding place.

But far more wonderful it is,
To see what smiles can do.
You smile at one, he smiles at you,
And so one smile makes two.

He smiles at someone, since you smile,
And then that one smiles back,

I wonder..

i wonder how she is feeling today?
what she is doing today?
the food she'll be eating today...

I wonder if she is really ok....
I wonder if she is really happy...
I hope she is...
suddenly i felt this gush of missing her...
I know she will be busy working...
maybe tonight I will see her...
or the day after.. :-)

signing out with a better day of sunshine and cloudy skies :-)

A place to reside.

Resting in a place long gone,

he have found another beautiful song,

that he'll sing and rhyme along,

as the heart is tied where it belong..

reside alone in a sheltered home,

seeking for peace and a healing tome,

and now he looked upon light shone,

his smile has glistened by her alone.

looking back at the running man,

he saw himself in which he pretend,

once loved and hurt a precious friend,

now starting anew in a different land.

thus he's signing out with a better day of sunshine and clouded skies :-)

Life as it is.

Life as it is,
if full of bliss,
as we wait in peace,
nothing will we miss..

as the hour passes by
the little boy that cried
now learned how to fly
reaching up in the sky.

the farmer who plant,
planted because he want,
he wanted because he cant,
he cant therefore he plant..

but hope has came faster than the tide,
the waves came to give him a ride,
he stood still and let loose of his footing..
and let the calm and peaceful waves carry him..

and he smiled at the sunny rays of dawn...
glistening his face, feeling once again ..warm.. :)

love is in the air, as long as we care, we will find it there~

how long has it been..

today i've read a post, a very sad post..not that i was angry or pissed with it.. i read a post that made me felt really disappointed with who i was before.. disappointed with what i've done before..  i didn't really knew that i had hurt this person so much, that i had made her cried alone in her bathroom, that i had made her heart break. I never wanted to hurt you so bad, it wasn't my intention at all...i was just an idiot. guess i wasn't matured enough to be in a relationship. But one thing that i am certain of, i never regretted meeting you in my life and i would like to say thank you very much for all that you've endured, and thank you very much for making me a better person now. :-) i now view life very differently..happily...you were right about me. I was just too stupid to not see it clearly, now i do. thank you my friend :-) and it's good to know that you are living a happier life right now..

signing out with a better day of sunshine and clouded skies :-)

Yeah~!

after the whole month of renovation and also running up and down the stair~~ fuu..finally, the SOLS center in segambut is almost completed~!!!! haha..cant wait for the students to come back from their holidays and start their classes.. :-)

signing out with a better day of sunshine and clouded skies~!! " :-)

how long are you gonna keep playing with me...?

i begin to hate your games...your occurrence and disappearance annoys me now...
no replies to me..and not answering calls... i try hard to show initiative while you mock me with your actions.
i am trying hard to heal and not make you a rebound'.. but did you even try to understand me? did you even try helping me? did you even care asking me? now i look so fucking silly... thanks for playing with me..good game
:-)

this weekend..i'm signing out with a mellow day of dark clouded skies..

shifting

april is near..and i am shifting to segambut today.. i will be staying there for work in the SOLS center, though now it has not been fully furnished yet..but i will be there together with the students to work and complete the place.. i managed to catch a few hours back home in klang to write this..lols. but i guess things will get much much better as i move now. :-)

signing out with a better day of sunshine and clouded skies :-)

painting joy :-)

HahAHAhah.. today i went to the SOLS segambut center, it was pretty funny as i went floor to floor and check out the place. Pretty neat place they have there.. then i taught the kids there how to paint the walls and gave them some trippy tutorial on wall painting...lols..they are all so nice.. and Raj as always, fires things up there making funny remarks and comments... either way, was a good day :-) for me to sign out with a better day of sunshine and clouded skies~!

SOLS

i have decided to dedicate my life into helping out SOLS, an ngo that aims in helping out troubled teen and provide free education to them.... i once enjoyed teaching// tutoring..and i guess now is the time where i could put that skill into use as well. I will most probably start work on Monday, start painting the new center at segambut and kick things in~!!! :-)

signing out with a better day of sunshine and clouded skies....

yippee

things in life sometimes will turn over at your feet...and drop you into a pit full of shit..
but one thing that i learn about experiences is... it can be measured with time...
and things that could be measured with time, only last for one period of time.. so i have found and been through
hard times in life, but when we think of it.. it is these "harsh/ hard" times that makes the "good" times feel better~ so i say "live life to the fullest, then we could get the best from it"

with this here, i shall sign out and begin a better day of sunshine and clouded skies~!

:-)

confused...

sometimes i wonder if there was really a chance between us,

i am just so confused by everything that you do, by what others has said to me..

i dare not make a move, too afraid to ruin this little friendship that we have..

but could you at least be clear to me on where i stand? so each time i need not pretend like a normal friend.

please don't juggle with the tiny-bit of leftover heart in me... i need it to live...

to all the women i've encountered..

my life started as you cried in pain, my life matured as i hurt you over and over again, my life will never be the same without all the women i've encountered.. mom, sisters, friends and loved ones.. i humbly wish "happy international womens day~!"

1986 - ? :-)

Family and friends, here i'll announce.
every seconds thats passed, kept count..
already i could feel the breeze on my face
ready as i am if the tide takes place.

today or tomorrow, i'll never be sure..
or maybe on summer of the year after..

luck shown how bitter comes after sweet.
of course there was sourness too.
Very few in which i loved, and yet..
everyone of them, too precious to forget.

As now i hope for their "hopes" to succeed,
goodness will go to those which are freed,
away from ties, bounded by their very fists..
inevitable from receiving wounds from the beast,
nesting in their very own hearts of defeat..
.
.
.
.

everyday i hear stories of another land,

from the mouth of a special friend,

never once i stop my pretend,

for i know she want to visit that land.

her cries of tear i listened,

the laughter from her i made,

though deep inside he's broken..

that's all he could do in his state.

day by night the light isn't bright..

imagine holding that pain inside..

to listen about that land you sought..

just wished it was here... my side.

in her eyes,

i see pain covered in laughter,
her gaze was still and watery,
hard, as she struggles to speak,
harder, it becomes for her to sleep.


in her eyes,
a glitter of light shone pass a second,
an immediate glimmer of pain-emit,
hoping for me to defeat,
the pain that held her a millionth week..


as i try,
my heart wanted to move my lips..
to form words of sense to ease your weeps.
yet too frail it was to even lift...
the power for my lips..too weak to speak..


in her eyes,
i see strength, i see kindness.
i see myself, i see unworthiness..
i see her tears, i see blindness..
i see a heart, i see ............................

into the sky

felt the wind on my face,
as your wings flapped by,
a comfort swept through me,
when you disappear into the horizon.

fly~take your journey up,
deep into the sky~
don't you even think of, giving up~
we were meant to fall,
so we could learn one day..
to stand tall~~

but beware of the clouds,
tempting as they can be,
just remember your limits..
as you.....

fly~take your journey up,
deep in the sky~
don't get over exited, over your head,
if you fall from the clouds..
even screaming out loud...
it'll be too late.

plated in thin-glass

Maybe i pay too much attention of my surroundings,
that sometimes i think too much, complicate simple matters.
I am so "thoughtful" that instead of responding towards an issue,
I ended up taking too much time, judging those few miserably logic response which i have in mind.
not once, not twice.. but most of the time.
I waste not only those pathetic ticks on my clock, but i dragged the precious time spent by those who waited for me.
Thanks for all your patience as well as time spent on me~ although deep down inside you all knew that i wasn't worth it. Sorry for all the disappointments that i have given you all.. words that i used in hurting all of you, remind me with a slap the next time we meet.

I am not a depressing person, nor a drama ass-king. i am just who i am, a normal person, trying to make some sense by conversing with himself. I doubt that there would be any readers nor followers of these crap that i write.
Writing them  somehow, eases the emotional fluctuation that i face~ every now and then.

things they say as we met:

"i can't recognize you"
"i thought for a moment there, you look familiar."
"Is it really you William?"
"oh my god~! Willl~!!!"
"William Koong? you're William rite?"
"Gosh, if you bald you head again i might recognize you better man~!"

recently i have been getting a lot of these responses wherever i see my friends..after being MIA for a month or two~ i didn't see any obvious change in me, but somehow they all say i look different, better i hope.. and surprisingly someone even told me that i feel different.....how is that so? i do not know..just go with the flow..lol
did i really change that much? am i that different already? nah.... i'm still an idiot.

the Out-of-Reach's preach

i'm not interesting~ i'm boring,

i'm not fun~i'm lame,

i'm not good looking~i'm fugly,

i'm not smart~i'm dumb, 

i'm not romantic~i'm dull, 

i'm not appreciated~i'm a disappointment,

i'm not perfect~i'm flawed,

i'm not the one~i'm the other one. 

*i'm not hiding~i'm healing*

 *keep breathing~keep believing*

 *i'm not hoping~i'm accepting*

an inflatable punctured heart

slowly~lifted up from the chest,
take it out, run a test..
inflate~ with your breathing air,
then give it a needle jab...

deflated~ deformed beyond compare,
leave it behind the alley, where no one would care.
abandoned~ so cold and so scared,
because no one will notice that.....

I'm an inflatable punctured heart~
just give me a chance, pick me up~
all i needed was a simple patch.....

Why am i born to be broken~
thrown away after i'm opened,
all you could do was to raise me up....

slowly~the cold crept inside,
the rain freezes me...bit-by-bit.
inflate~now i'm beyond repair,
as the sun in the morning..dries-me-up.

deflated~i am torn to pieces..
impossible to even know it's a baby
abandoned~at least it's cold no more.
warm in a hungry-..puppy's-..belly...

I'm an inflatable punctured heart~

if i was given a chance, and picked up~

given a patch by a lonely widow...

Why they wanted me broken~

after months being together, with her...

I could've been an obedient child....

I was once an inflatable punctured heart..

Maybe she was scared too from the start..

cus i saw her tears as we depart...

a song inspired by the brutality of humans abandoning newly born babies, throwing them away where 80% of them often do not survive....and more which were never found. 

I love wondermilk~!!

Wondermilk is wonderful,
a cuppa Macadamian milk served hot,
with a Red Velvet cupcake <3
If i were to be accompanied by you as well...
there couldn't be anything more that i would want :-)

can i ask you out for the second time?

what can i say to see you?
i just wanted to have a drink with you..
just wanted to talk.
wanted someone to talk to..
someone real, someone like you.
we do not know each other well enough..
i am not as good as i seem, you assume me to be.
i'm an idiot, a loser, an all-talker,..
sometimes i do not know where i stand.. am i even an option now?
am i on display for selection?
i always work... work....work....work....
yet i also wanted to get closer to you...
i'm afraid that i might disturb you...
make you feel uncomfortable'

It's not easy being me...
I wanted to tell you more about me..
as well as to know you better....
i dont know how much time i'm left...
or how many chances that i get...
but i just know one simple thing...
you might not know it...
I like you as well....

If tomorrow was my last.

If tomorrow was my last day,
i would take all my money,
to play all day,
not me.

Here i am, standing alone..
facing the glass,
that separates my room...
i told myself
that it's ok, and  nothing is wrong~
and deep inside, i need to be strong~

but when the blinds are open,
by the doctors glove,
the words he spoken though full of love,
cracked my head like an egg...

If tomorrow was my last day..
i wont care about my money...
i'll spend it all on my family~
making one last moment, happy...

being raised and cared,
taught on how to prepare..
the wrongs that i had done,
as a growing up son..

can never~ever be forgiven...
can never~ever be mistaken...
I'll never ~ever get to repay them.

a single world of thoughts.

elevation, as it creeps into the mind.
the palpation in my eyes, takes control.
a doll thats left behind, with one leg gone.
could serve no child, companion.

the world... is a big black place of gathered thoughts..
those thoughts.... were made of needle sewn remorse...

reflection, of an unwanted look in the mirror.
depression, created by pressing pen on paper.
a sentence of apology, which doesn't contains sorry
defies what it was meant to be..

the world.. is a big black place of gathered thoughts...
these thoughts.... will sometimes cause the lights going off..

Complexion, of a face that reappear everywhere.
remembrance, of experiences that was once shared.
a book thats torn, without a reader to belong.
burns itself inflame..

your world...is not any different from all the others.
the others... have all their time to give ...................

a song to remember on "fake plastic tree"

Her green plastic watering can 
For her fake Chinese rubber plant 
In the fake plastic earth 
That she bought from a rubber man 
In a town full of rubber plans 
To get rid of itself 

It wears her out, it wears her out 
It wears her out, it wears her out 

She lives with a broken man 
A cracked polystyrene man 
Who just crumbles and burns 
He used to do surgery 
For girls in the eighties 
But gravity always wins 

It wears her out, it wears her out 
It wears her out, it wears her out 

She looks like the real thing 
She tastes like the real thing 
My fake plastic love 
But I can't help the feeling 
I could blow through the ceiling 
If I just turn and run 

It wears her out, it wears her out 
It wears her out, it wears her out 

If I could be who you wanted 
If I could be who you wanted all the time