a better day of sunshine and clouded skies

2012-01-30T00:28:00.002+08:00

i miss you very much already....

i want..

2012-01-30T00:25:00.000+08:00

to hold you and sleep,

as i feel your breath on me,

following the rhythm of your heartbeat.

to spend all my time with you,

together running through

this little path in life

to be there as your anchor,

giving strength and energy

when you need it most

to hold your hand,

in the white lane of flowers

exchanging the ring of life

to say i love you,

every morning, day and night

for all the beautiful things that you've given me..

S.H.M.I.L.Y

wait for me..in 5 years you shall see, the better day of sunshine and clouded skies with me.

just another weekend of sunsets, archery and DIY floor lamp :-)

2012-01-16T12:19:00.001+08:00

On Saturday, late afternoon: :-)

The Beautiful Woman i was with..

the Beautiful Cape Hope we visited..

and she was really happy~

her younger sister came along too~ ;-)

had her little drink

and there were some kids tossing stone pebbles into the sea..

they were fishing as well..

getting on to some mischief it seems..:-)

and dawn was near..

Wei Ann found a swing~ <3

and Shirley shared the swing as well..

On Sunday morning:

we went for archery too..

she looks kinda pro...

most certainly not a girl i wanna mess with.... ho ho ho

On Sunday Afternoon:

in the afternoon we decided to be productive..

we drove around and bought some paper cups..

we stapler them together...

there was a lot of stapling to be done...

and we made ourselves some really nice DIY floor lamps.. cool innit?! :-)

I can say that it was a great weekend spent, and all was well with everything~! :-)
and i am signing out with a better day of sunshine and clouded skies :-)

Volunteering work.

2011-11-25T10:52:00.000+08:00

I just heard of the most ridiculous thing today, that people actually gets charged to volunteer for NGO's-just so they can get the volunteering experience.. wow.. ahaha and according to my friend Juan, there are tons and tons of students and also people from the overseas gets charged a certain amount of money by organizations that sells these kind of volunteering "service" it seems..

I really dont know what is going wrong nowadays...but most of the sites that we 'google online for "volunteering"-in certain countries and etc' are mostly paid sites... it seems that this "volunteering experience" selling-trend is getting bigger and bigger... people actually have to pay to do charity? i pity those who are lost in the little road of volunteers...

Thank god SOLS 24/7 doesn't charge our volunteers... and on the contrary, volunteers are given food and accommodation as well.. Please.. if you are looking for a place to volunteer, you dont have to pay for it.. spend some extra hours online to do more research and you will be on your way to a wonderful experience by your very own hands..

Peace out to all the other volunteers of humanity out there~! and have a better day of sunshine and clouded skies :-)

:-)

2011-11-15T11:11:00.000+08:00

a new stage

a new tone

a new birth

a new element

a new inspiration

a new picture

a new direction

a new found love

you

2011-10-18T03:00:00.000+08:00

it is late at night (2:11 am) as i am writing this now..
even though i met you yesterday, and chilled out with you the whole day..it never stopped me from missing you at this time..i miss your existence.. your smile... your mengader-ness~ ...your care... your touch.
haha..time flies it seems..but i guess i should record our story here now and then.. i have told it once too many times to those that asked.. and yet i will never feel to bored of asking...

here goes.. 7 years ago..

a boy met a girl... a girl that he never thought that he would be able to date...and yet he still fell for her..there was something that attracts him... he dont know what..then...
~hahaha i dont know where to start!! :-)~

ok.. i was this little boy..a delinquent looking boy...a boy that smokes alot.. and one day as i was smoking in front of school, a voice caught me from the back "hey you~! dont smoke so much la.. it is very bad for you health, you know~?" and i was surprised as this girl smiled at me when i turned around..and i could see her braces shining under the sun.. "what a smile" i thought.. and i flushed red..i could feel my cheeks hot...and my lousy response that time was "oh~ ok.." hahaha ... i was a bit shy la.. but then i start noticing her alot..

i did something really stupid that time.. from that day onwards i will always sit in the exact same spot to smoke and hope to get scolded again..hope to be able to see her talk to me again.. and yeah, she did...but everytime i cant find the courage to get to know her closer.. but one fine day.. i found out that she is also part of this Nature society thing in school, and i was lucky enough to be invited to join in helping that society to paint some murals... whats best is that..she is also part of the mural project..hahaha i was so delighted.. but still i dont dare to talk to her..

but then things went pretty well and we worked on the mural together, and we even went to a trip with the society together.. and i liked her..i had a crush.. but i dare not speak or engage on it..because she was one of the famous girls in school.. and i was nothing but a normal kid.. haha

and surprisingly... we got closer towards the end of form 6.. what good timing right...... -_-"
and we started chatting and sharing and chatting and sharing..
as we tell each other about our lives.. we got closer and closer... but we remain as friends only.. i kept my distance.. and throughout these years..we both had someone else in our lives...and we both cried for them..but then again.. i never regretted going through those pains with previous companions... because it was when i's broken that she found me and fixed me up..
i was touched by her doing.. i was sad and broken and she was the only one that comforted me.. the only one that cared..the only one that understood.. the only one that chatted with me till 6.00am and i know that she have work in the morning.. but she held on...to make sure that i was alright..
after that chat with her.. i was so touched and so sad as well.. how have i missed something so great in life..how have i have once given up on someone so wonderful in life.. then only i see... that she is more important to me now..

we got closer and closer.. till one fine day.. i asked her out to catch a glimpse of the sunset in Cape Hope.... we went for a stroll in the mall for some hot chocolate..met up with a friend, then after that drove off to Cape Hope.. we walked a really really long path along the shoreline..and we just kept walking and talking.... i was just enjoying the vibe that the surrounding was giving out.. the dawn that was coming..as the final hours of the warm Sun rays were cast upon the two of us.. we kept walking..and talking about some other thing.. i was trying to find something to talk about.. until we found a nice spot to sit and as the sunset.. we had a short moment of silent in admiration of natures wonderful work of art..

it felt like forever for me.. and after the sunset.. we walked back to the car..and we sat on a bench near the place i parked. and i manage to summon my courage to tell her... but it was still a cowardly confession.." i think i am in love with you.." hahahahahaa what a loser right..i still laugh at it everytime i think of it.. :-) but at that time she still hasn't agreed, instead she somehow rejected me.. yet surprisingly..i did not feel dissapointed somehow.. because deep down inside, i know she feels for me..for i can feel it too..but thanks for that ice-breaking confession.. we got way more closer as friends..

and as we found out more about the funny things in each other... the attraction grew, and i started to miss her alot.. and she started to miss me a lot as well.. we went out for a few times to hang out and eventually we were unofficially dating... and somehow.. we became companions now...it just came naturally.. and now i am dating her officially..for she is the greatest girl that i have ever met in my life.. yes..you truly is.. and the past 7 years was such a long ride.. but then again... worth it..for you are a close friend, a lover and a companion..
shirley..i love you.. :-) hehe.. though we have been dating for not long now.. yet it felt as though we have been dating for super long.. and i like that feeling.. that warm feeling in my chest that throbs for your appearance..
there are more chapters to this story but i shall leave it for ourselves to treasure..

so this is it.. my very own story, that took me 7 years to write..and many many years more to complete with her..and i am signing out with a better day of sunshine and clouded skies.. :-)

i have never..

2011-10-18T02:10:00.000+08:00

felt this strong before,

for someone..

believe so much,

in someone....

been healed so wonderfully,

by someone...

loved so deeply...

on someone...

thought i would meet...

this someone...

believed that i'm with..

this someone..

i'm signing out with a better day of sunshine and clouded skies :-) S.H.M.I.L.Y <3

Bossini FTW

2011-10-10T19:56:00.001+08:00

thanks to bossini in being so generous to SOLS, haha now the students get to wear more nicer and better clothes~! :-) i am so so happy weeeeee~~~

thank you

2011-10-04T12:22:00.001+08:00

for being there yesterday,
and cared for me while i am sick..
healing my soul with your presence..
making me smile when i couldn't
you are like an invisible angel...
always being there for me at times of need..
even as i am alone now.. i could still feel your presence with me..
for the love shared between us is strong and beautiful~

thank you SCHW~Shmily
you gave me a better day of sunshine and clouded skies..

you made my day~!

2011-10-02T01:13:00.000+08:00

it was a wonderful day,
a day i spent without dismay,
you took my troubles away,
like there were no yesterday,
showing me care, needless to say,
making my heart skip and sway...

thus i'm signing out with a better day of sunshine and clouded skies.. :-) SCHW Shmily~ <3

See.How.Much.I.Love.You = )

2011-09-28T15:26:00.001+08:00

Bless the broken roads..

2011-09-26T19:54:00.003+08:00

I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Yes He did

I think about the years I spent, just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost, and give it back to you

But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there, you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

But now I'm just rolling home into my lover's arms
This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

That God blessed the broken roadThat led me straight to you

rascall flatts

Waking up.

2011-09-23T03:30:00.000+08:00

Last night I woke up..
Last night it was cold..
Last night I stood up..
Your hands I want to hold.

Ps: sleep well Shirley..

2011-09-21T14:37:00.001+08:00

In his younger days a man dreams of possessing the heart of the woman whom he loves; later, the feeling that he possesses the heart of a woman may be enough to make him fall in love with her. Thus a new chapter in his life unfolds.

2011-09-20T12:45:00.002+08:00

"The moment we indulge our affections, the earth is metamorphosed, there is no winter and no night; all tragedies, all ennui s, vanish, all duties even."

2011-09-20T10:32:00.000+08:00

heart of a million petals

2011-09-19T21:16:00.001+08:00

You have the heart of a million petals,

as i close my eyes i could see them,

fluttering in the midst of my mind,

so soothing and yet so stimulating...

am i to loose control of my self once more?

You are the bearer of my million petals,

the petals that surrounded my soul..

keeping it safe at your mercy,

so warm and yet so cozy...

need not worry, for i am to be firm..

need not worry if darkness returns,

for i am willing to burn my self ,

to brighten your day :-)

Ps: so much that i want to say, and the words in me grew day by day.. i shall sign out today with a better day of sunshine and clouded skies.. i love you.. S.C.h.W :-PA

when i see it now,

2011-09-18T13:11:00.001+08:00

i guess this is life, sometimes you are lifted up and sometimes you are being thrown down. But the thing is, i am being shot too high above the sky now~ :-)

i've know her for 7 years in counting, often times just disturbing her and telling lame jokes to her, but deep down inside... i had a crush.. Yeah man! 7 years.... not very consistent but the crush has been alive for that long.. HAHA..

i feel like a kid now...writing these kinda things.. but i cant seem to find a better way to ease down my excitement and happiness.. i couldn't sleep yesterday night! thanks to YOU! hahaha..

It felt surreal, being with her and going out with her... it always does, i couldn't help but to think that way..

sometimes you ask me what am i staring at when i look at you?" well then, i was just doing a reality check there~ :-) just to see if it is really happening..<3

ps. i love you, and i am signing out with a better day of sunshine and clouded skies..

the usual unusuals..

2011-09-17T11:13:00.000+08:00

For you who is special~~

2011-09-17T03:42:00.001+08:00

Ps. Thank you for being special :-) and i'm signing out with a better day of sunshine and clouded skies.

:-)

2011-09-10T11:32:00.002+08:00

2011-09-10T11:28:00.001+08:00

"When i saw you, i fell in love and you smiled because you knew" William shakespeare

2011-09-06T17:31:00.002+08:00

sometimes when you feel like you're falling,

don't worry, just spread your wings and fly..

sometimes when you feel broken,

don't worry, you're becoming a beautiful collage..

the happiest moments only comes after we faced sadness...

as you were there all the time... comforting my mind.

i will try my very best to preserve you..

2011-08-23T18:45:00.005+08:00

it is sad to love someone
and not being loved in return..

but what hurts the most is

to love someone and not having

the courage to let them know....

"not me.." :-)

cuz i'm signing out with a better day of sunshine and clouded skies..

a smile~

2011-08-23T18:11:00.002+08:00

A smile is quite a funny thing,
It wrinkles up your face,
And when it's gone you never find
Its secret hiding place.

But far more wonderful it is,
To see what smiles can do.
You smile at one, he smiles at you,
And so one smile makes two.

He smiles at someone, since you smile,
And then that one smiles back,

I wonder..

2011-07-21T11:13:00.001+08:00

i wonder how she is feeling today?
what she is doing today?
the food she'll be eating today...

I wonder if she is really ok....
I wonder if she is really happy...
I hope she is...
suddenly i felt this gush of missing her...
I know she will be busy working...
maybe tonight I will see her...
or the day after.. :-)

signing out with a better day of sunshine and cloudy skies :-)

A place to reside.

2011-06-02T18:39:00.001+08:00

Resting in a place long gone,

he have found another beautiful song,

that he'll sing and rhyme along,

as the heart is tied where it belong..

reside alone in a sheltered home,

seeking for peace and a healing tome,

and now he looked upon light shone,

his smile has glistened by her alone.

looking back at the running man,

he saw himself in which he pretend,

once loved and hurt a precious friend,

now starting anew in a different land.

thus he's signing out with a better day of sunshine and clouded skies :-)

Life as it is.

2011-06-01T20:17:00.002+08:00

Life as it is,
if full of bliss,
as we wait in peace,
nothing will we miss..

as the hour passes by
the little boy that cried
now learned how to fly
reaching up in the sky.

the farmer who plant,
planted because he want,
he wanted because he cant,
he cant therefore he plant..

but hope has came faster than the tide,
the waves came to give him a ride,
he stood still and let loose of his footing..
and let the calm and peaceful waves carry him..

and he smiled at the sunny rays of dawn...
glistening his face, feeling once again ..warm.. :)

love is in the air, as long as we care, we will find it there~

2011-05-04T02:11:00.003+08:00

how long has it been..

2011-04-22T11:54:00.001+08:00

today i've read a post, a very sad post..not that i was angry or pissed with it.. i read a post that made me felt really disappointed with who i was before.. disappointed with what i've done before.. i didn't really knew that i had hurt this person so much, that i had made her cried alone in her bathroom, that i had made her heart break. I never wanted to hurt you so bad, it wasn't my intention at all...i was just an idiot. guess i wasn't matured enough to be in a relationship. But one thing that i am certain of, i never regretted meeting you in my life and i would like to say thank you very much for all that you've endured, and thank you very much for making me a better person now. :-) i now view life very differently..happily...you were right about me. I was just too stupid to not see it clearly, now i do. thank you my friend :-) and it's good to know that you are living a happier life right now..

signing out with a better day of sunshine and clouded skies :-)

Yeah~!

2011-04-22T11:43:00.000+08:00

after the whole month of renovation and also running up and down the stair~~ fuu..finally, the SOLS center in segambut is almost completed~!!!! haha..cant wait for the students to come back from their holidays and start their classes.. :-)

signing out with a better day of sunshine and clouded skies~!! " :-)

how long are you gonna keep playing with me...?

2011-04-03T11:52:00.000+08:00

i begin to hate your games...your occurrence and disappearance annoys me now...
no replies to me..and not answering calls... i try hard to show initiative while you mock me with your actions.
i am trying hard to heal and not make you a rebound'.. but did you even try to understand me? did you even try helping me? did you even care asking me? now i look so fucking silly... thanks for playing with me..good game
:-)

this weekend..i'm signing out with a mellow day of dark clouded skies..

shifting

2011-03-30T11:51:00.000+08:00

april is near..and i am shifting to segambut today.. i will be staying there for work in the SOLS center, though now it has not been fully furnished yet..but i will be there together with the students to work and complete the place.. i managed to catch a few hours back home in klang to write this..lols. but i guess things will get much much better as i move now. :-)

signing out with a better day of sunshine and clouded skies :-)

painting joy :-)

2011-03-27T01:48:00.000+08:00

HahAHAhah.. today i went to the SOLS segambut center, it was pretty funny as i went floor to floor and check out the place. Pretty neat place they have there.. then i taught the kids there how to paint the walls and gave them some trippy tutorial on wall painting...lols..they are all so nice.. and Raj as always, fires things up there making funny remarks and comments... either way, was a good day :-) for me to sign out with a better day of sunshine and clouded skies~!

SOLS

2011-03-25T20:49:00.000+08:00

i have decided to dedicate my life into helping out SOLS, an ngo that aims in helping out troubled teen and provide free education to them.... i once enjoyed teaching// tutoring..and i guess now is the time where i could put that skill into use as well. I will most probably start work on Monday, start painting the new center at segambut and kick things in~!!! :-)

signing out with a better day of sunshine and clouded skies....

yippee

2011-03-25T12:45:00.000+08:00

things in life sometimes will turn over at your feet...and drop you into a pit full of shit..
but one thing that i learn about experiences is... it can be measured with time...
and things that could be measured with time, only last for one period of time.. so i have found and been through
hard times in life, but when we think of it.. it is these "harsh/ hard" times that makes the "good" times feel better~ so i say "live life to the fullest, then we could get the best from it"

with this here, i shall sign out and begin a better day of sunshine and clouded skies~!

:-)

confused...

2011-03-13T22:03:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wonder if there was really a chance between us,

i am just so confused by everything that you do, by what others has said to me..

i dare not make a move, too afraid to ruin this little friendship that we have..

but could you at least be clear to me on where i stand? so each time i need not pretend like a normal friend.

please don't juggle with the tiny-bit of leftover heart in me... i need it to live...

to all the women i've encountered..

2011-03-09T01:58:00.000+08:00

my life started as you cried in pain, my life matured as i hurt you over and over again, my life will never be the same without all the women i've encountered.. mom, sisters, friends and loved ones.. i humbly wish "happy international womens day~!"

1986 - ? :-)

2011-02-27T04:09:00.000+08:00

Family and friends, here i'll announce.
every seconds thats passed, kept count..
already i could feel the breeze on my face
ready as i am if the tide takes place.

today or tomorrow, i'll never be sure..
or maybe on summer of the year after..

luck shown how bitter comes after sweet.
of course there was sourness too.
Very few in which i loved, and yet..
everyone of them, too precious to forget.

As now i hope for their "hopes" to succeed,
goodness will go to those which are freed,
away from ties, bounded by their very fists..
inevitable from receiving wounds from the beast,
nesting in their very own hearts of defeat..
.
.
.
.

2011-02-05T11:37:00.000+08:00

everyday i hear stories of another land,

from the mouth of a special friend,

never once i stop my pretend,

for i know she want to visit that land.

her cries of tear i listened,

the laughter from her i made,

though deep inside he's broken..

that's all he could do in his state.

day by night the light isn't bright..

imagine holding that pain inside..

to listen about that land you sought..

just wished it was here... my side.

in her eyes,

2011-02-02T06:57:00.000+08:00

i see pain covered in laughter,
her gaze was still and watery,
hard, as she struggles to speak,
harder, it becomes for her to sleep.

in her eyes,
a glitter of light shone pass a second,
an immediate glimmer of pain-emit,
hoping for me to defeat,
the pain that held her a millionth week..

as i try,
my heart wanted to move my lips..
to form words of sense to ease your weeps.
yet too frail it was to even lift...
the power for my lips..too weak to speak..

in her eyes,
i see strength, i see kindness.
i see myself, i see unworthiness..
i see her tears, i see blindness..
i see a heart, i see ............................

into the sky

2011-01-17T14:21:00.000+08:00

felt the wind on my face,
as your wings flapped by,
a comfort swept through me,
when you disappear into the horizon.

fly~take your journey up,
deep into the sky~
don't you even think of, giving up~
we were meant to fall,
so we could learn one day..
to stand tall~~

but beware of the clouds,
tempting as they can be,
just remember your limits..
as you.....

fly~take your journey up,
deep in the sky~
don't get over exited, over your head,
if you fall from the clouds..
even screaming out loud...
it'll be too late.

plated in thin-glass

2011-01-17T06:54:00.000+08:00

Maybe i pay too much attention of my surroundings,
that sometimes i think too much, complicate simple matters.
I am so "thoughtful" that instead of responding towards an issue,
I ended up taking too much time, judging those few miserably logic response which i have in mind.
not once, not twice.. but most of the time.
I waste not only those pathetic ticks on my clock, but i dragged the precious time spent by those who waited for me.
Thanks for all your patience as well as time spent on me~ although deep down inside you all knew that i wasn't worth it. Sorry for all the disappointments that i have given you all.. words that i used in hurting all of you, remind me with a slap the next time we meet.

I am not a depressing person, nor a drama ass-king. i am just who i am, a normal person, trying to make some sense by conversing with himself. I doubt that there would be any readers nor followers of these crap that i write.
Writing them somehow, eases the emotional fluctuation that i face~ every now and then.

things they say as we met:

2011-01-10T15:00:00.000+08:00

"i can't recognize you"
"i thought for a moment there, you look familiar."
"Is it really you William?"
"oh my god~! Willl~!!!"
"William Koong? you're William rite?"
"Gosh, if you bald you head again i might recognize you better man~!"

recently i have been getting a lot of these responses wherever i see my friends..after being MIA for a month or two~ i didn't see any obvious change in me, but somehow they all say i look different, better i hope.. and surprisingly someone even told me that i feel different.....how is that so? i do not know..just go with the flow..lol
did i really change that much? am i that different already? nah.... i'm still an idiot.

the Out-of-Reach's preach

2011-01-10T05:08:00.000+08:00

i'm not interesting~ i'm boring,

i'm not fun~i'm lame,

i'm not good looking~i'm fugly,

i'm not smart~i'm dumb,

i'm not romantic~i'm dull,

i'm not appreciated~i'm a disappointment,

i'm not perfect~i'm flawed,

i'm not the one~i'm the other one.

i'm not hiding~i'm healing

keep breathing~keep believing

i'm not hoping~i'm accepting

an inflatable punctured heart

2011-01-03T16:43:00.000+08:00

slowly~lifted up from the chest,
take it out, run a test..
inflate~ with your breathing air,
then give it a needle jab...

deflated~ deformed beyond compare,
leave it behind the alley, where no one would care.
abandoned~ so cold and so scared,
because no one will notice that.....

I'm an inflatable punctured heart~
just give me a chance, pick me up~
all i needed was a simple patch.....

Why am i born to be broken~
thrown away after i'm opened,
all you could do was to raise me up....

slowly~the cold crept inside,
the rain freezes me...bit-by-bit.
inflate~now i'm beyond repair,
as the sun in the morning..dries-me-up.

deflated~i am torn to pieces..
impossible to even know it's a baby
abandoned~at least it's cold no more.
warm in a hungry-..puppy's-..belly...

I'm an inflatable punctured heart~

if i was given a chance, and picked up~

given a patch by a lonely widow...

Why they wanted me broken~

after months being together, with her...

I could've been an obedient child....

I was once an inflatable punctured heart..

Maybe she was scared too from the start..

cus i saw her tears as we depart...

a song inspired by the brutality of humans abandoning newly born babies, throwing them away where 80% of them often do not survive....and more which were never found.

I love wondermilk~!!

2011-01-03T12:12:00.003+08:00

Wondermilk is wonderful,
a cuppa Macadamian milk served hot,
with a Red Velvet cupcake <3
If i were to be accompanied by you as well...
there couldn't be anything more that i would want :-)

can i ask you out for the second time?

2011-01-03T06:32:00.000+08:00

what can i say to see you?
i just wanted to have a drink with you..
just wanted to talk.
wanted someone to talk to..
someone real, someone like you.
we do not know each other well enough..
i am not as good as i seem, you assume me to be.
i'm an idiot, a loser, an all-talker,..
sometimes i do not know where i stand.. am i even an option now?
am i on display for selection?
i always work... work....work....work....
yet i also wanted to get closer to you...
i'm afraid that i might disturb you...
make you feel uncomfortable'

It's not easy being me...
I wanted to tell you more about me..
as well as to know you better....
i dont know how much time i'm left...
or how many chances that i get...
but i just know one simple thing...
you might not know it...
I like you as well....

If tomorrow was my last.

2011-01-01T23:48:00.000+08:00

If tomorrow was my last day,
i would take all my money,
to play all day,
not me.

Here i am, standing alone..
facing the glass,
that separates my room...
i told myself
that it's ok, and nothing is wrong~
and deep inside, i need to be strong~

but when the blinds are open,
by the doctors glove,
the words he spoken though full of love,
cracked my head like an egg...

If tomorrow was my last day..
i wont care about my money...
i'll spend it all on my family~
making one last moment, happy...

being raised and cared,
taught on how to prepare..
the wrongs that i had done,
as a growing up son..

can never~ever be forgiven...
can never~ever be mistaken...
I'll never ~ever get to repay them.

a single world of thoughts.

2011-01-01T23:25:00.000+08:00

elevation, as it creeps into the mind.
the palpation in my eyes, takes control.
a doll thats left behind, with one leg gone.
could serve no child, companion.

the world... is a big black place of gathered thoughts..
those thoughts.... were made of needle sewn remorse...

reflection, of an unwanted look in the mirror.
depression, created by pressing pen on paper.
a sentence of apology, which doesn't contains sorry
defies what it was meant to be..

the world.. is a big black place of gathered thoughts...
these thoughts.... will sometimes cause the lights going off..

Complexion, of a face that reappear everywhere.
remembrance, of experiences that was once shared.
a book thats torn, without a reader to belong.
burns itself inflame..

your world...is not any different from all the others.
the others... have all their time to give ...................

a song to remember on "fake plastic tree"

2011-01-01T22:14:00.000+08:00

Her green plastic watering can
For her fake Chinese rubber plant
In the fake plastic earth
That she bought from a rubber man
In a town full of rubber plans
To get rid of itself

It wears her out, it wears her out
It wears her out, it wears her out

She lives with a broken man
A cracked polystyrene man
Who just crumbles and burns
He used to do surgery
For girls in the eighties
But gravity always wins

It wears her out, it wears her out
It wears her out, it wears her out

She looks like the real thing
She tastes like the real thing
My fake plastic love
But I can't help the feeling
I could blow through the ceiling
If I just turn and run

It wears her out, it wears her out
It wears her out, it wears her out

If I could be who you wanted
If I could be who you wanted all the time

What i think of 2010?

2010-12-31T04:45:00.000+08:00

the monster that i feared most in becoming is typing this sentence now. So long William , for you will never learn to love as love would learn about you.. Your name shall forever be depleted and chipped off from the hearts that once had it etched..disconnected with the world, and living in you own frame. Fate it seems, plays an interesting game of roulette.. it gives you hope, and snatches it away as you paid the price in obtaining it... life is so full of shit i think. None so ever made sense anymore in the meantime... none
when someone already know it's time, wouldn't care anymore further... goodnight.

2010-12-12T13:12:00.000+08:00

Sometimes when I'm alone I wonder

Is there a spell that I am under

Keeping me from seeing the real thing

Love hurts.....

But sometimes it's a good hurt

And it feels like I'm alive

Love sings

When it transcends the bad things

Have a heart and try me

'Cause without love I won't survive.

"ripped off the song 'love hurts' by Incubus"

Joey

2010-12-02T16:31:00.000+08:00

this is the latest production by B.A.N.D.U productions.

Director: Clement Chiang

Editor: Daniel Chan

Producer: William Koong

actress: Oon Joey (My niece) *she's not physically challenged in real life*

"Joey" is basically a PSA made for the MUFORS film competition. The characters and story is fully fictional and are not related to anyone living or no longer alive.

we just wanted to make something out of the ordinary..something different from the PSA that we watch on Tv.. something unexpected.. and we thought that this idea might work. And i was freaking happy that it came out better than i have expected~! really need to thank my wonderful partners Monkeyboy and Big Cow~! haha

note: if any of u are observant enough..in this PSA "Joey", i did not insert any form of direct relation regarding "accidents, cars, driving and etc".. and yet the message was sound and clear, this is something that i am really proud of producing "JOEY".

it would have been nice

2010-11-21T12:42:00.001+08:00

but since it's no longer my responsibility to make it,

i could not bother more,

just staring back at plans i once made,

that would have been nice. :-)

“I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” mahatma gandhi

2010-11-14T17:00:00.001+08:00

sorry, but who are you again? Don't think i know you anymore..

2010-11-08T23:35:00.002+08:00

funny things come is weird ways

2010-11-03T16:52:00.000+08:00

funny it seems that after the 48 hour film project that i was involve in, i found a heart there. I found my love for the production of short films as well as being able to get together in a group of people, discussing, giving input, reviewing and accepting each others ideas..

the fun and enjoyable times i had for the past weekend is over whelming. we all worked hard on the whole production and give it our very best in making something, creating something, giving birth to something within the short time span of 48 hours~!!! -THAT- is actually quite impressive, if you ask me about it.

this saturday will be the screening of our film in ASWARA hall, and we are all very nervous as the results for the winners will be anounced at that time as well...i personally do not hope for any awards while joining this competition, i somehow had my fill of satisfaction during the film production process, yeah... i'm easily satisfied by it.. i love making films, literally -making- .

am i that strong?

2010-10-29T06:20:00.001+08:00

am i really that strong? i doubt the fact that i am, some may look and perceive me other wise.. but what am i to say in changing the thoughts of others? haha

had this really nostalgic dream that never came to me for a long time.. i used to enjoy the imaginary world that my subconscious mind painted, but this time i jolted up as though a thousand volts ran through me. Bathed in both; cold sweat and frustration, i could do no less than to turn the lights on, sitting on the cold floor, and trying to reconnect back to reality.

felt like leaving this place.. yes it does. this is one of those rare occasions where my mind fought back, the fictional lucid reality of it's subconscious side. It sucks, so much that i cant even stand lying to myself, HAHAhaha... or am i slowly loosing it? nah.. who cares, right?

i am the successful joker, the lame entertainer, the irresponsible partner, the notorious brother, the idiotic driver and the unwanted lover. :-) life is a bliss~~ when we rest in peace~~

drown by limpbizkit

2010-10-25T12:57:00.001+08:00

It's getting closer to the end

Every part of me

And then disaster takes it's toll

And now I'm left with only me

Maybe sorrow plays a role

When you feel unkind

Your abuses will let her stand in a line

Forever lost in time

Save me, save me

Before I drown

Save me, save me

Before I drown

It's getting closer to the end

I look back and smile

We conquered every single bump in my road

Made it all worth while

~~Just remember how I cared~~

~~When it came crashing down~~

I'd like to toast to all those

Angels that were always hangin' 'round

Save me, save me

Before I drown

Save me, save me

Before I drown, drown, oh, oh

Maybe life ain't what it seems

'Cause it's all a dream, forgive me

Sometimes I feel like a fool

'Cause I'm so uncool, forgive me

thanks for the memories.

2010-10-16T03:57:00.000+08:00

"what if?" i learnt a lot from this question.

"what isn't?" i realized a lot from this question.

Sanity hangs on a single thread.

2010-09-24T05:02:00.000+08:00

To whoever that wanted me dead -now is your chance.... one more hit onto the heart and i'll be gone..

2010-09-24T04:50:00.000+08:00

Tossing and turning, i still cant sleep...woke up again, eyes drenched.. felt very thirsty and cold..
the effects of such "goodbyes" consumes my mind and body. Why are my hands shaking?

Babi korang..Cepat sangat~!!

2010-09-24T03:13:00.001+08:00

They kept at true good humour's mark

The social flow of pleasure's tide:

one after one, they subside

they never made a brow look dark,

Nor caused a tear, but when they embark.

It's been a great time,

Yet both your shores have hasten tides,

off you traveled towards the skies.

ps: "burger ayam special, mayo lebih.. bawang tak mau ah~!" i will not have the chance to say this again.. now i will miss the both of you.. "Donkey nesh & AD-donald"

LITTLE big" stories in life.

2010-09-13T04:57:00.004+08:00

today

2010-09-08T09:14:00.000+08:00

Why couldn't we change,
make it better,
This place where we stay,
sadly never...
As time took it's pace,
we still slumber,
Dreaming day by day,
separate colours...

All i feel's dismay,
as i see the father..
Feed them with his ways,
poisoned his kids...
Always about race,
different colours...
Don't look at me strange~~
Don't look at him strange~~
Shouldn't we be ashamed......

We can't live this...
there ain't no-peace-to-it.
There wasn't one day..
we wont discriminate...
If i had one wish..
i hope that all....
Humans would be blind,
so this will stop..
We're blinded by skins.
those tone's of colour~~
*please-dont-tell-me-all those-stories*
i want to judge with my own eyes...
*don't dwell in separating~humanity~~~!*
it would be the end for you and me!!

I hope it's not me,
alone in thinking..
Observe and you'll see,
how distorted..
Our.. society~..
our family~~
inequality~
how can we~~
not see~~?

2010-08-19T00:30:00.002+08:00

Death, Ghost & the Supernatural

2010-08-19T00:21:00.001+08:00

this month is the chinese lunar calender's Ghost Month,...
therefore in respect to all that are wondering, most that are haunting, some that are lingering and the small amount which are joining...i shall use the theme "death, Ghost & the Supernatural" in dedication to 'them',.. ...and this shall be the first from the theme..

rainy night

2010-08-14T00:13:00.000+08:00

dear william,

remember this night that you wrote this post to yourself, at this moment where you type the words, you felt a form of satisfaction after being spent time her time and space. It was a rather rainy night and the moon was hiding under the blankets of drippy thick clouds. Surroundings drowned off by your concentration, everything turned blurry and dark except the candle in your hand..shining, warming and illuminating your path way.

i faced the truth

2010-08-13T01:27:00.000+08:00

"truth is like fire, it never leaves anything that it touches unchanged"

sometimes we have to learn to accept the truth as we are to live on without regrets or dismay, this i learned in an almost asphyxiating way. Yet the truth to the "whatever that doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" saying is quite true in a sense that you actually continues to live on and not linger in the past.

Standing on a cliff that looks down on nothing but death, one gets to experience the beautifully dangerous view in return.. but with no doubt, standing on such height and such little space to balance oneself will result in nothing more than fear of dying and losing it's sight upon the cliff's beauties.. thus making us cling our gambled lives onto the cliff harder...not knowing that doing so would loosen the soils where we kept our footing on...hastening the time of death, hastening the end of the wondrous view... maybe, sometimes all it takes is just for ourselves to control our inner thought as well as to accept the past as 'the past'...

now it's time to make good use of the time there is now, and work on the amendments to preserve the cliff, build a foundation on it's footing..put on a fence so no one will fall and die. (one half of the fence has been built, now all there is to be done is to patiently hope that the other half can be completed soon before any further accidents can happen)

"to know" is for the curious, "to not know" is for those that are regrettably curious"

2010-08-12T11:02:00.000+08:00

… somehow he couldn’t stop. He had turned into someone that he would have pitied in another life; someone who searched for signs, who analyzed patterns, who went over every word in a conversation looking for hidden meanings, secret signals, the subtext that said, "Yes, I still love you, of course I still love you"

2010-08-12T10:52:00.002+08:00

... how many ways can one heart be mangled and still be expected to keep beating?-ditto

Finally..a song we can call our own.

2010-08-09T13:41:00.000+08:00

after the long anticipation, rantings, postpones, divergence and so on... the band "PtC" has finally came out with our very own song.. title and description of the song are not to be disclosed now... Clement (le' batteur) and i burnt two days worth of midnight oil to complete it..and finally we've done it yesterday, or to be concise it's this morning 2.30 am...

elements of composing: guitar, pencil, paper and flying cockroach'

the base line for our first song is already completed and the rest is to add in those beautiful music instruments of the other PtC bros and also a sis...lolx.. the song writing process has already completed after numeral tries and experiments, yet the lyrics is still immensely vacant for improvements.. leddy (les' claviériste) will be forced to refine and spice up the vocabs..

next on, is the anticipation to once again get back as whole.. and jamm our hearts out of our lives~!

"Just fuck it, and do the damn thing!" - Pop The Cherry, 2009

painful...very painful...

2010-08-08T19:00:00.003+08:00

i ~~cant explain what i am feeling now..there is a sudden warmth in my chest that spreads throughout my whole body, slowly crawling to all the corners of my body..~~

~~and i notice a certain concentration deep within my chest area.... a very painful and sore feeling..~~
yes it is pain..i feel very painful inside, i felt this before, but today.. it is extremely dense, the pain..i want to cry out loud, but i cant.. why am i in such misery and torment? i know now that the level of pain is equivalent to how much love is being spared in.. i still feel it..while i am typing this now.. while i am looking through the sentence before this..while i am thinking of how to put the words out..yet i cant explain truly or to describe how it felt.. it is too painful and yet too precious... i feel like ending myself right now..... i am so sorry, very sorry... the small rational part of me is keeping me from killing myself, sorry for being too emotional sometimes.... sorry for being too irrational sometimes..sorry for being too dependable sometimes...sorry for being an annoyance all the time...sorry for all the stupid things i have made together with the unhappy moments i've put you through..

urgh.... the feeling of pain is still sharp in its presence.. i cant seem to stop it at the mean time... it usually stops in a while..but today it sustained longer than usual..... i dont even know what the hell is wrong with me..it is very painful!

recent arts

2010-08-05T04:17:00.000+08:00

"Pop the Cherry @ The Curve 2010"

2010-07-27T03:16:00.000+08:00

The song called "through glass" from Stone Sour being covered by 'Pop the Cherry' during the 2010 Fete de' la Musique @ the Curve..

Can't even find the words to describe the amount of nervousness that almost drowned and suffocated me at that time.. As i looked from atop the stage...all around, friends, family, loved ones, and strangers.. all waiting for us to perform. Each of them showing eyes of hope, of love, of curiosity, of expectation, of judgement, of competence, of prayer...and thus the music starts... i drew in breaths of nervous air, closed my eyes, prayed to not screw up, and played my vocals.

The song called "Perfect Situation" from Weezer that is being covered by "Pop the Cherry" during the Fete de' la Musique 2010 @ the Curve.

I would like to thank all those who came to support 'Pop the Cherry' during that day.. passerby.friends, family and loved ones. We hope that in the near future, 'Pop the Cherry' will be able to provide more entertainment and joy for you all, "those we cared of and also those that cared for us"

the days of slumber

2010-07-12T13:42:00.000+08:00

all the while i thought that there was something

when i slept my days off for nothing

yet the dreams arrive and i have to sigh

cuz it'll be nothing more than a passerby

welcome to the world of puss

where hatred and revenge drowned all of us

until we find that peace of mind

we will forever left behind

dream the unknown world that's banned

by moral values and norms at hand

hope we could see the broken frame

holding the pictures of those once came

the days of slumber are short in sight

for we never saw what lies inside

when we hit our heads into the drowning light

i wish for all to have a wonderful night..

A birthday post!

2010-06-29T02:13:00.002+08:00

This year, i had my 24th birthday, though it may not seem as a very significant age, but to me this year's birthday is very special. Why is that so?

I spent my birthday eve to have lunch with my "sisters" JaJa binks, Sara, Shermaine and Lesley. Because Lesley will be leaving to Australia soon. we talked and we bitched and I was also interrogated, it was fun..after lunch i wanted to visit my girlfriend Emmy, but it seems that she was busy and have no time to entertain me...thus i sulked and drove home...because i have no where else to go and there is still like 5 more hours till the mamak session with my friends at bangsar later.

As usual, i was never excited to celebrate my birthdays, so no party as usual.. i went to mamak at night together with Clement, Kelly (clement's friend from singapore), Tinne, and Ridz.. it wasn't meant to be anything special at all.. just normal minum session with friends.and clement belanja me that night too...thus the night ended and i went home.. .. that was the first time i ever had a birthday with friends from college. Pretty interesting. Thanks Clement, Kelly, Ridz and Tinne!

then the next day i am suppose to meet up with Emmy at her place. but i was delayed by a few chores back home..and i arrived there during lunch time.. i was a little tired but i just wanted to see her and spend some time with her.. as i arrived at the front door i called her mobile and she came to open the door.. she greeted me with a huge smile and wished me "happy birthday" and i -was- literally happy that time..

she welcomed me into her house and i saw Leanna, Calvin, and Wei Lien there too.. apparently they are there to work on their group assignment, then i felt like i was a huge disturbance.. but later on...Emmy went into the kitchen and took out a cake for me, a "Double Chocolate Cake"...Wooowww~!! no one has ever baked something for me more less a Cake for my birthday,... the truth is, Emmy was busy getting ingredients and baking the cake for me the day before, thus she has no time and obviously do not want me to know what surprise she have for me.. i felt a strong rush of warmth in my heart that instance and was pretty stoned to react to that.. i was touched.. "she is -the one-" i told myself..

We had the cake, and an awkward "happy birthday to william" song.... but i was greatly thankful to them. She thought that i would like to go out somewhere later in the evening but i dont need it, during that moment her company is more than anything that i could wish to have. We spent time together that day talking and bitching about others.. i am truly glad to have her around. She made my birthday this year very special and i just doesnt know how to express my thanks to her.. "i love you Emmy and thanks for everything"

Its true

2010-06-28T21:57:00.000+08:00

it's true that humans cannot live alone

it's true that humans need a home

yet sometimes we are forced to be away

missing home day by day

It's true that home is our sanctuary

it's true that it gives us security, infinitely

yet home is not the roof we shelter beneath

home lies within those we need

it's true that my home is in you

it's true that the heart is there too

yet being afar has drenched the sap

from the heart that was intact

It's true of what i said to you

it's true that it painted our skies blue

yet sometimes i feel alone

i wish i could be at home

it's true, as you may find it absurd

it's true, the words that you've just heard

i know i'm not the one you wished

but i'm willing to give more than i receive

it's true..i promise you.

Count down to Musique..!

2010-06-12T13:17:00.000+08:00

8 more days,
for us to play,
the biggest day,
with no delay,

20th.... in the Curve, PtC is gonna be faced with its very first open air gig... and everyone is very nervous, very worried, very excited, very happy, very stoned....very hardworking...

there will be no space for relaxing nor taking a break now..

there will only be 15 minutes... and 8 more days to prepare... time is running out...

Music vs Filming

2010-06-10T23:49:00.000+08:00

I feel very alive now... i have two of the greatest passion in my life, and actually working on to continue living in it.

Music and Filming....are two of my passion in life, thanks to my friends and family that enabled me to experience what i once dreamed of only...beyond reach.

i have 10 more days till the gig for my band at 'The Curve'.... we are all very nervous.... and exited also.... the "fete de 'la musique" is a street music fest... and we are suppose to perform around 7-8 in the evening...haih... 10 days in counting..

Me and my friends also formed a indie-film production team of our own... we are now in the midst of constructing some major props and equipments to start our upcoming projects. Hopes are high and ideas flowed in like a rapid waterfall, we will soon start our film projects and shoot, shoot, shoot!!

endothermic rose

2010-04-03T17:51:00.004+08:00

seed lies in, within, slowly growing

as the sunlight and air warms it up

feeling the roots grab hold of my heart

as the first sprout of life shakes the soul

the appearance of the pulp, amazed me

heart rate increased, pumping my blood into it

i fed blood and spirit into its growth

now slowly it shows the red buds of early petals

i will for all time take good care of it

making sure it flowers into a magnificent being

as it feeds from the energy within me

to live another day, for her sake.

7 years of drought

2010-03-16T01:18:00.001+08:00

drained and dried

without mercy

forcing the birth,

of a barbed wired soul.

a defense born

to protect

to refrain

from the fear of pain

as one was confined,

nothing gets in

for 7 cycles

alone within

a broken roof

let rain in

drops of cold water

awoke him

slowly with care

he ventured

to catch

water before it goes away

cant say much

he tried hard

he saw beauty

in her heart

now he pray

she could stay

so she can swim

this life with him

yet these years

of 7 droughts

left him mute

to tell her all

time will show

and rain will fall

to change this land

flowering it all

song plan....

2010-02-11T05:36:00.000+08:00

i have been trying to write on more vast topics lately..

topics in which i have to put my self into the imaginative shoes

of a scenario in order to some out with new stuffs..

my imagination is fading day after day..

like a gust of wind, i blew her away..

now she's free and flew from me

no more chances for me to say...

like how we cant change "yesterday"...

i found back my interest in writing crap again.

i found back the fun in doing so

realizing that they are a form of recording device..

that can tell what i was thinking everyday...

i wish to create a new song to play.

love sarcasm.

2010-02-11T03:00:00.002+08:00

Taking my leave
i hoped you'll say something,

at least ask me where i'm going,

then i would explain my reason of leaving

you...

The 3 years has thought me

to understand the truth,

of one thing after all we've been through...

i wasn't good enough for you

it seems that you didn't care too..

the fault was mine, here's a few;

i'm sorry for being, over protective.

i'm sorry for loving you too much,

i'm sorry that i was the only one loving

i'm sorry, i forced you to have me crushed.

i'm sorry to call you when i was feeling down

i'm sorry for giving you more than i could spend,

i'm sorry that all this time it was only me,

i'm sorry that all this time you have to pretend!

i hope that you can find a better person,

to care and provide more than I,

hope you'll recover well from those wounds

forget how bad a choice, that i was for you..

it seems that you didn't care too..

let me tell you, in which i knew;

i'm sorry for being, over protective.

i'm sorry for loving you too much,

i'm sorry that i was the only one loving

i'm sorry that it was me that's being crushed

i'm sorry that i've been looked down by your friends,

i'm sorry for living my life just for you,

i'm sorry that all this time it was only me,

i'm sorry for knowing you in this life..

i will always remember how nice you were to me,

guess it's hard to find another girl like you..

let this be the final words from me..

you are more than i can ever see.

black and white rainbow

2010-02-04T01:47:00.003+08:00

once the rainbow,
was black and white,
showing itself day and night,
but not once appreciated upon sight.

a kid went by,
as the rainbow appear,
without showing sign of fear,
paddling his tricycle near and near..

what brings him here?
the rainbow thought in fear,
never before a person came near,
little he knew that the boy was sitting on the rear.

"rainbow oh rainbow,
i like your stripes,
rainbow oh rainbow,
i waited night after night."

being offered such kindred words,
the rainbow cant believe what he heard,
something too nice that he cant believe,
but yet he wished the boy wont leave..

"why hast thou reckon me in beauty?"
have you not see the colors in me?
the dull black and white is 'ugly'.
as you sure i deserve your envy?"

Looking up and baring his teeth,
a few was gone from the underneath,
but yet the rainbow recognized it,
It was a pure smile given as a gift.

the rainbow wonders deeper in thought,
figuring the reason he was not being ignored,
little that he knew that the boy felt bored,
beneath the rainbow he laid down and snored.

a sudden rush or warmth arise,
the rainbow felt this for the very first time,
couldn't process the feeling inside,
he just froze with the boy in sight.

He felt protective and useful once more,
its existence was never appreciated before,
this made the rainbow opened a door,
to accept his own beauty with great awe.

As the moment the rainbow accepted,
the inner beauty burst out cluttered,
from within it grew as the rainbow is colored,
with the beauty of seven different wonders..

none is alone in this world we live,
only those that have faith deep beneath,
will be able to live happily with it,
glowing with inner beauty that was lit.

another creation

2010-02-02T13:18:00.003+08:00

here's another video i made while learning new things in Pinnacle studio 14 HD,
i think slowly i can refine my film editing skills with this new software.

Orange peeling

2010-01-31T00:02:00.003+08:00

one with a dozen,
a dozen for one.
I ate 12 oranges today,
different oranges in a same way.

The first was sweet,
yet too hard to peel,
like training my feet,
to walk and feel.

From the 2nd to 5th,
i slowly progress,
chewing with my teeth,
i felt i had the best.

Sudden 6th felt a lil' sour,
'Frown' formed at my first encounter,
yet i thought it'll all get better,
unknowingly i ventured deeper...

7th and 8th i peeled faster,
without effort i reached within,
yet they weren't getting any better,
from pleasure it became repeated routine.

Forcing fingers to reach 9th,
closing an eye i took the knife,
much was rumbled now in mind,
could oranges represent my life?

10th and 11th tasted bitter,
was it oranges or grapefruit i wonder?
why bother asking when the end was near?
i never thought that the truth will clear...

The final 12th i held tall,
afraid to find a taste too strong.
yet courage sliced it and shared with all ,
surprizingly "sweet!!" the others sang along~

recently

2010-01-29T08:59:00.002+08:00

i had been writing a lot,
making note of every sense,
trying to bring life with my pen.

i try to make them into songs,
yet the rhythm i always forget,
at least i got the words recorded,
reminding the thoughts my mind once had.

i also did a few sketches,

filling my sick days spent in bed,

i think music is slowly growing in me,
as i am now allowed to express freely,

walk with me

2010-01-29T00:16:00.002+08:00

Why do we cry?
human were meant to die,
the moment we receive life.
we must live and not 'try'..

Throw down those burdens,
and live for the moment.
As long as we aren't regretting,
the paths we've taken

walk with me~~
I'll bring you along my journey~~

we have and we had,
i just want you to know,
they are everything we can let go.
without the sun, our hearts still glow!

walk with me~~
I'll let you free~~

Let us not stay frozen in our past,
life is not something that will last,
just like those beautiful fireworks,
that leaves us aghast...

walk with me~~
can you?....

i was stupid'

2010-01-21T05:19:00.002+08:00

i was stupid,
to have not realize the coming of spring,
in which i missed the one and only,
beautiful flowering.

i was stupid,
to let lose such a beautiful fragment,
that would fill the deepest emptiness,
that could ease my torment.

i was stupid,
as i did not dare summon the energy,
that would save my self from continuing,
on this lonely road sadly...

how can i repent,
to enjoy this beautiful spring,
in which it fills my empty heart,
that will rename the road called "lonely"?

Will spring be as cold as winter to me?
freezing my soul so quickly,
yet tormenting my heart slowly...
please accept my sorry...

I hope that i can get back,
this fragment that brings the only meaning..
for this heart to keep pulsing,
please save it from dying..

Hope that there's a turning on this road,
for the most important junction i missed,
because i am sure that i will reach,
a never ending road of bliss...

with great sincerity,
i apologize humbly,
"sorry that i missed",
"i was stupid"
..................................................

have i forgotten

2009-11-26T18:49:00.002+08:00

have i forgotten how much important,
those which were put aside
left alone in their fights
making struggle with an unwanted sight

have i forgotten
the sense of time
devouring the essence of life
slowly we are left blind

have i forgotten
the pleasure of love
receiving and giving
sharing..

have we all forgotten
the real world
wearing that fake expression
asking for empathy

have we all forgotten
how respect and comfort are gained
thus our minds flew into the midst
of a gray sky of dawn

must we forget
the surroundings of warmth
the sense of touch
while we were lifted up

forget
the fear of leaving
the pain of deceiving
for we are the living

get
the ones beside us
out them into trust
believe as we must

Line revived, and the dead rises again...!!!

2009-10-15T00:52:00.005+08:00

KNN!!!!!!
After being disconnected for such a long time and leaving this space untouched', now i will start infesting the net with my' crap again..

Basically, i have been gone for so long is because that i am lazy and do not bother to update anything.. and also for minor reasons; the internet line at my place was not working at all... dammit... due to some dumb project by our beloved Jabatan Kerja Ringan' that took moths to patch up a hole which is probably the size of a 'jamban' !!!! walao.... how hard is it to fill up a hole that size? just visit that hole for a week and start shitting on it...viola..hole filled.

Owrite... just let bygones be bygones.. throughout the numerous months of my disappearance, i have been activating my self into "duracell" mode and became really active in the great "MMS" society. Thus by doing so, has enabled me to fill in the empty slot of 'internet-less' in my itty-bitty heart. The society has been planning on a massively cool event called the "halloween Massacre Night" and as time goes on together with the joint-venture with the IPRMSA (dont ask what it stands for...sorry) club, we got to experience real-time ass aching' event organizing. as the saying goes; NO PAIN< style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">Clements band called "Pop The Cherry" as the vocalist, and trust me.. i suck like hell man... but luckily all the band members were all very cool and chilling when it comes to jamming, but the real fear is yet to befall upon us...arrghhhh** and we cant afford to screw-up for the upcoming performance. I am now practicing four songs everyday in my car and also in my dreams just to get myself prepared for the big day..... everytime i think of it...and understanding my own limitations, i fear of letting down the whole band down if i were to screw up...knn!! sibeh jialat owhh!! first thing.. Clement the drummer will stick the drum sticks into whatever hole he can find on me, then Andrew the basist will start 'Slapping' me into bits, Ledwina the keyboardist will make me swallow her keyboard, Weng Yew the lead guitarist will shove his guitar into my (use your own imagination**) and finally the Big Bro Mr. Lai the Rhythm Guitarist will choke slammm~~ me to hell...

Thus in my tombstone, epitath; " He sang , not too well. Like a pussy humming in a well"

I was also helping out as much as i can in organizing the Halloween Massacre Night, i got to dress up as a "slightly" plump Joey Jordison together with Clement wearing a full head perverto' clown'o mask and performing some guerilla marketing on the Halloween event. it was kinda fun scaring the shit out of students in help during DAY TIME!!! can you believe that? but we manage to get loads of attention and some even took pictures with us... actually without my mask, i'm more scarier~!! we also did a Busking Session Accoustic Jam Session in order to raise fund for the Halloween Event, and we got around RM300++ in two hours.. thanks to all the effort poured out by all the MMS members.

Now everthing for the event has kick-started by it's own and it will just be a matter of time for it to take shape, thanks god that i was given a chance to work with such fabulous 'Monstrous Minions Scums' of hell that i dare and most of all feel proud to call them brothers and sisters. Tribute to the 'Monstrous Minions of Scums' family : thanks to Joanna James-ah-long, Aliyyah Nuha-ha-ha-ha-ha, Apan Zha-fran-toyol, Daniel chan-lan-dou, Clement dup-dup Chiang~!!, Ledwina In da house', Calvin Khong wei lian, Abygayle-andy, Luc-hansem, Sara liyana-na-na~~na, Ja jaBinks, Shermaine chan suet-suet, Amira lawa, Andy-gayle, Tanya-ma-ma, Rae'chong' o' sunshine, Lisa ma-ma mia, Jessica-snappy-snappy, Debbie-piggy, Shari-coffee-ti, Michelle lee-penang, Michelle Mae sau-sau, Ian-box-bearer, and all the other friends and family that supported us.. Tinne, Riz, and geng!

Just because i visited his blog~....

2009-09-24T15:23:00.002+08:00

Dearest Clement.

I _know___ you.
You have a nice __friend (me)____.
You make me __drive from klang to yam cha____.
You should __come to klang and yam cha_____.
Someday I will _have a musical journey with you____.
You + me = __buddies lo______.
If I saw you now I'd __write a song with you________.
I want to ___jam again with_____ you.
I would build a __toilet_____ just for you.
If I could sing you any song it would be ___hotdog______.
We could ___look freaking damn gay _______ under the stars.

Love,
____KNN william___________

(P.S. __kanina, we must finish composing the song man..____________.)

Oh and I am __going________ (going/not going) to post this under my notes and see what you write about me.

Burpday'!

2009-06-25T19:14:00.002+08:00

Today is the 25th of June 2009, my birthday and the day the world received another wonderful being!..lol..

i have received a lot of wishes from a lot of friends, and not to mention my sisters that took care of my breakfast, lunch and dinner today, each of them decided to cook something for me today. so i have all three meals covered for the day, Hahaha..i dont have to cook my self now..

Now i am lying my arse around in my room, watching movies and also writing this post. I also received one wonderful present from my best-friend "MIKE LAU"..

he made a testimonial post, a commemorative piece about me. i was very touched by it!! i did not expect that someone will do something like this for me. Surely is my best friend! If i were a girl i will marry you man!..hahahahaha too bad i'm straight!
Check out his post:

http://decarboxylation.blogspot.com/2009/06/411-willame.html

Yesterday my bosses from Quickrelease Adventures also gave me a surprise celebration, i was deceived to go help my boss "melody" to shift her house. We did a little shifting of boxes and also fixed a few racks, after that, her dad fixed us a wonderful lunch and we hung out in the TV room.... and Melody and Adele said they wanted to go do something.... and while watching TV and laughing at some nostalgic-TVB-show, i heard "happy birthday to you...."

Hahahahaha.. i really did not expect that at all!!! they are the best and the most friendliest bosses i had ever had! the cakes were nice and tasty!

Like every year, birthdays are always the better.. they improve through friends and also family, without them.. my existance is nothing significant to celebrate at all.. Thanks to you all for what i am!

alas.

2009-06-19T19:54:00.001+08:00

Whooo.... finally all the hustle and bustle was starting to leave me..
i am so happy for a few things here! one: jin stays with me and we tok kok everynight!
two: tomorrow Yokie, Susan and the Chan brothers (dalan & Justin) are coming down to makan-makan in klang with me and mikey.
We are going to sacrifice a pig and some sushi tomorrow..

I finally feel relieved from a few events after having them done..

now i will just wait for tomorrow.. bkt & sushi...

Sueeyyyy ahhhhhh !!!!! ( in canto means BADDD LLUUUCCCCKKKKK!!!!!)

2009-06-02T00:49:00.004+08:00

This year my car has failed me and also cost me loads of cash and time, haih... i guess my "Blue Monster" is beginning to demand for some serious rest and also new spare parts..

Blue Monster : "i demand a vacation now!! give it to me William!! you ass!!"

Last month i have just spent in about rm 400 in fixing the leakage in it's brake's main pump, then two weeks later, the brake hub of the left rear wheel broke into a few pieces, causing my car to sound as though there were something constantly knocking behind.. like there were someone trapped in the back booth~~ scary shit there man..

Then recently.. last friday to be more precise, as i was going through my normal routine before i get to college or work every morning, i will spend some time at the petrol station near Jusco Bukit raja, just to fill in some fuel, check the water level on the radiator, check the engine oil level... then i will continue my journey.. and every time i will also make damb sure that i will close the front boot tightly and make sure that it is secure. This time was not an exception also, i was sure it closed nice and tight!

While i was driving on NKVE at the third lane with the speed of around 130 km/j (Kilometres per hour), my front boot suddenly flew open and up it goes!! ramming right into my front windscreen and bringing thousands of razor sharp glass shards towards me!! good god, i was fast enough to evade the wave of glass shooting into the car by dodging downwards, everthing happened in less then 2 seconds... man oh man.. that was a shock that i didnt get for quite some time now...

Visibility was zero due to the front boot covering up the whole windscreen, i quicly punched on the emergency signal and slow down my car, making sure the cars behind notice my stop. i quickly went down and pushed the booth down and drove to the emergancy lane far left.. there i cleaned my self up, get rid of all the glass shards, and while i was doing it, the highway patrol was kind enough to offer me some help in cleaning up the glasses, it was serious to make sure that the front boot and the dashboard was clean from pieces of glass to aviod any further injuries to my face or eyes while i drive home.. i tied the booth with some metal wires i got from the highway patrol and thanked them on ly way back... i took me more than 2 1/2 hours to start moving home.. walao..
and i can only drive like 60 km/j on my way home.. and i finally know how it fells like when driving a "convertible" car-the ones with no roof on top, but this time.. only without a front windscreen....

the front view of my car... the boot is already bent, cant close anymore

the front portion of the dashboard, paint came off and dented.

with this accident, i missed my first assignment for feature writing class, and also miss work on the same day... walao.. dam Sueeeeeyyyyyy ahhhhh!!!!!!

A few more pictures..

2009-05-15T12:52:00.003+08:00

I find now that i moved on from using my 'old-school' pen to using a mouse, now i am slowly improving in my 'mouse-drawing' skills.. and i dont have to waste ink-and paper also... here's a few more in which i have created the last few days..

a portrait of Jim Root from Slipknot

a self portrait

Recently...

2009-05-11T16:04:00.004+08:00

Recently i had been too busy to update my blog..haih... more or less chat in msn.. so this is what have been happening to me recently:

After exams, went straight to perform my internship at an event organising company in Damansara, Taman Tun.. walao... still need to drive like going to college. But nevermind, the boss there are very nice and also eager to teach me all the stuffs that they have in their sleeves.. during the workiing time till now "in which i am slacking off to write this post" the job has been interesting. here are the few things we did recently:

1) been to UPM, UM and UNITEN for meetings with the people there.
2) Database collection of previous events.
3) went to look for race tracks for upcoming events.
4) Reply emails for the participants that registered..
5) Went makan in plenty other new places!

the nearest upcoming event will be on June, it will be a run sponsored by a power plant company called 'Malakoff', and the event will be held at Penang..hehehe..me and my boss are planning to taste the famous 'Rasa Sayang International Buffet' there..woohoo..

The second thing that i have been up to recently is my car a.k.a "blue monster", though it is not that monstrous, but for me, it is the best car ever... recently "Blue Monster" has been complaning with some additonal sound that it has been giving off, so i went down to his belly to see what happened and to my surprise! blue monster's "lower arm" need to be replaced, therefore i brought it to the workshop and start dissasembling and fixed it during one of the weekends.. after that i brought it to the tyre shop to change a new set of tyres and got it's 'allignment' tuned, and Viola!! smooth driving..... but three days ago "Blue Monster" gave me a shock again, this time it gave out some tremendous sound on the left-rear wheel.."BUMMMPP!!" ..scary man..... so i wanted to fix it the next day..but i caught a cold and it came with a fever..bad luck..

but i managed to send it to the workshop again and to my surprise!, when the wheel hub was removed, the brake plates were broken into pieces and the hub's inner part was damaged badly..brake pump..goner..
so i gotta get it fixed tomorrow after work..haih..

the third thing is that, i have another responsible recently, i need to upgrade my friend's laptop..just add ram to it.. it was Candy's laptop.
she will be gone for a whole week to Taiwan, and i am supposed to get it done for her, but the bad news is.. i cant do it for her..i only managed to help her install the antivirus that she needed and also clear her laptop of rubbish.. basically to make the laptop work faster.. but time is not on my side, walao.. everytime is finish work, got home..the computer shop is closed, weekends: "dont even dream of driving into Klang Town".. guess it's gonna be "sorry candy" for her..

Recently also i have been trying hard to organise a 'one-day-trip' for my friends, and i did..but sadly just a few of them that acted as a 'sport' to reply my messages..haih... please la "brudders & sistas"...holidays are at it's end now..no time to play dy wei...how la??

Recently i have no time during weekdays, and no rest during weekends......

but i manage to find some time in working out my designing skills on a freeware called Paint.net, it is similar to photoshop but i find it more suiting to my style... If you wonder why i even bother to learn all these designing stuffs, it's because i felt that i am left behind. nowadays alot of people/artist work very well with photoshop and they can create really good stuff with it.... i realise that pencil and paper will be overruled by these digital tools.. and do realise that i mean 'create' is not by copy and pasting photo's then edit them, my definition of creation is from a blank page, drawing using the mouse, starting with line and end with a picture. By this, i can still be able to maintain the "old-school'ness" in me..lol.. i did a few sample designs already, abstract ones.. and slowly improving myself in the process, and i am quite satisfied...hehehe..

archive..

2009-04-16T08:35:00.009+08:00

Man.. this semester i had created three short movies:
1st short movie : Moonlight Euphoria
-it was basically about a guy that took drugs for once in his life and ruined not only his life, but he also screwed up his friends life. It is just a short film (8 mins) to show that how drugs can actually change what we are in the matter of just one night. The transition of the main characters mind into his hallucinations and etc.. it's a bit "artsy-fartsy" la... thaks to the friends that helped out on this short film : Apan Zhafran, Mike Lau, Vincent Voo, Anson, Lau Yang, Benny Ng, Khor Keen Loke, Suren Karrapiah, Nisha Mohanna and Ally Tort.

2nd Short clip : Multimedia Society promotional video
-a short clip me and my members decided to make in order to promote our newly established 'Multimedia Society' in hope of creating awareness amongst the students in my uni. the promotional video was shown during the 'Help Film Festival'. thanks to numerous people that made this video happen which includes : Apan Zhafran, Isabelle Lim, Eliza Wong, Jeremy, Aliyyah Nuha, Joanna James, Isaac, Sara Liyana, Rae Chong, Naim, Darimi Luc', Shari, Michelle Lee and Calvin Khong.

3rd advertisement : Tourism Malaysia advertisement
-a short advertisement done for my 'Advertising' class.. this one here is the killer!! I DIDNT KNOW HOW DUMB I LOOK ON SCREEN!!! man... this one here is kinda bodo hahahaha ( i mean me inside it) the advertisement is to promote the new campaign "Visit Malaysia lah.." and it is to urge and tell the local malaysians that we caan still go for holiday during this economical recession period. a simple straight to the point ad of (1.01 mins) my team mates in this project are Sara Liyana, Jaharah Kamaruddin, and Shermaine Chan.. thanks to them in making this happen!

here's our poster for the ad campaign, nicely done by Sara!

meanwhile i have only uploaded one of these three videos, i will continue uploading when i get back later in the evening.. now i need to go for my advertising presentation for the 3rd video, "tourism Malaysia" wish me luck man......

a better day of sunshine and clouded skies

i want..

just another weekend of sunsets, archery and DIY floor lamp :-)

Volunteering work.

:-)

you

i have never..

Bossini FTW

thank you

you made my day~!

See.How.Much.I.Love.You = )

Bless the broken roads..

Waking up.

In his younger days a man dreams of possessing the heart of the woman whom he loves; later, the feeling that he possesses the heart of a woman may be enough to make him fall in love with her. Thus a new chapter in his life unfolds.

heart of a million petals

when i see it now,

the usual unusuals..

For you who is special~~

:-)

a smile~

I wonder..

A place to reside.

Life as it is.

love is in the air, as long as we care, we will find it there~

how long has it been..

Yeah~!

how long are you gonna keep playing with me...?

shifting

painting joy :-)

SOLS

yippee

confused...

to all the women i've encountered..

1986 - ? :-)

in her eyes,

into the sky

plated in thin-glass

things they say as we met:

the Out-of-Reach's preach

i'm not interesting~ i'm boring,

i'm not fun~i'm lame,

i'm not good looking~i'm fugly,

i'm not smart~i'm dumb,

i'm not romantic~i'm dull,

i'm not appreciated~i'm a disappointment,

i'm not perfect~i'm flawed,

i'm not the one~i'm the other one. *i'm not hiding~i'm healing*

*keep breathing~keep believing*

*i'm not hoping~i'm accepting*

an inflatable punctured heart

I love wondermilk~!!

can i ask you out for the second time?

If tomorrow was my last.

a single world of thoughts.

a song to remember on "fake plastic tree"

What i think of 2010?

Joey

it would have been nice

“I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” mahatma gandhi

sorry, but who are you again? Don't think i know you anymore..

funny things come is weird ways

am i that strong?

drown by limpbizkit

thanks for the memories.

Sanity hangs on a single thread.

Babi korang..Cepat sangat~!!

LITTLE big" stories in life.

*today*

Death, Ghost & the Supernatural

rainy night

i faced the truth

Finally..a song we can call our own.

painful...very painful...

recent arts

"Pop the Cherry @ The Curve 2010"

the days of slumber

A birthday post!

Its true

Count down to Musique..!

Music vs Filming

i'm not the one~i'm the other one.

i'm not hiding~i'm healing

keep breathing~keep believing

i'm not hoping~i'm accepting

today